Kafka’s The Metamorphosis sat on the shelf for years, moved with us rental to rental, accumulating dust from various Brisbane Suburbs. With new meds come new opportunities, and the reading of this was recently one. Never had I had my experience as the scapegoat child of a family narcissist so clearly mirrored. The outcast. The other. The monster.
What struck me harder than an apple lodged in my back, was the clear innocence complex of the protagonist. The desire only for what was best for his family and his sister. The preservation of their condition of innocence and comfort at his expense. The choice to ignore and justify the past, present and ongoing abuse and demonisation of his condition. And slowly, starved and self-starved of happiness, love, recognition and basic necessities, he slips away into death.
Seen as a monster. Not heard or understood. He chooses to act and delude himself as to pure innocence and self-sacrifice so as to not admit to himself – his family have mistreated him. Surely, they will see his efforts? Take the time to understand him? Treat his malady with kindness and compassion? After all, he means no harm. He has only ever meant good.
Yet, sadly, they wish his death. They are grateful and relieved when it happens. They can get on with their lives and hopes for the future. A tragedy.
What if he let himself see the truth? The money hoarded and kept from him? His family’s true capabilities all along? Their selfishness – as if his malady is indeed happening to them?! Would he be an angry monster? Would he cross a line?
That is interesting to me. We all seem to care so much about how the abused react than truly seeing the cruelty of the perpetrators. What is the best way for the creature in Kafka’s story – actually a thinking human inside – to react to his situation? To be a monster, angry and full of rage, or a monster, sick, starved and dead?
Maybe instead, if there was a safe place, a safe society, for victims, where we are no longer seen as monsters. Just people who did what they needed to survive and are now given the space to finally heal.
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